Rating: NC-17 for now because I don't know what's going to happen just yet. These things have a mind of their own.
Disclaimers: I own nothing. Nothing! I just like to play with my girls.
A/N: Um. Not sure if I'm even going to give this a real go. Never written from BPOV before so I'm just giving it a shot. I guess feedback will determine if I should keep this fic alive or not. drop me a line.

-Subversive Theatre

Missing Her

Chapter One

It’s been six years now since Sunnydale imploded. Six years of not carrying the burden of saving the world alone. It’s been six years since I’ve had to worry about impending doom and apocalypse. Six years since I’ve seen her. Well I take that back. I see her every now and again in a Slayer dream.

I usually have one when I’m at my loneliest. Once upon a time I thought it was just coincidence but over the years I’ve come to realize that she knows me. Maybe it’s why I pushed so damn hard when we were kids. She took one look at me and knew everything about me. I wouldn’t admit it then, but it scared the shit out of me.

It still scares me a little. Maybe it scares her a little too. Maybe that’s why she just took off the morning after D-Day. Haven’t seen her in person since. But those eyes, I see those chocolate brown eyes every night as I fall asleep. Slayer dream or not she’s on my mind. And if I’m really lucky I get a letter.

No post mark of course. No return address. Just a blank envelope with my name on it. She sends them to Giles and he passes them on to me. I asked him once why she doesn’t send me mail directly. He just smiled his sad smile and said that Faith moved around a lot, that she liked to stay lost. That used to keep me up at night. Faith. Lost and alone with no response to her letters. It took me nearly a year to realize she never wanted or needed a response from me. The day I figured that one out was the day my heart broke a little more.

Okay I’m not naive enough to still think I’m not in love with her. I knew it when she came back for the big show down. I knew it when we switched bodies. I knew it on the rooftop the night I nearly killed her. And I knew it the moment that she stared me in the eye and flashed that damn cocky smirk at me, letting me know I could hide from the world but I couldn’t hide from her.

That was so long ago. So long it seems like another life. We were just kids. All wrapped up in our own selfish ways. I wanted love, she wanted acceptance. We were so close to it too. If she hadn’t killed Finch, if I hadn’t blamed her for everything... scratch that. If I had just let her in, she might have let me in too. But we didn’t and all I have left of her now is a stack of letters, a few memories, and a dream or two.

“Buffy?” I can hear Giles but I’m too zoned out to respond. Dawn smacks my arm and I blink a few times. Finally I drag my gaze to my Watcher and give him a faintly apologetic smile. He sighs in his disappointed British way but hands me an envelope anyway. “You have post. I suspect you’ve been waiting for this.”

I have? I take the letter and note the familiar scrawl of my name. I can tell it’s from Faith even without seeing the writing. I can smell her perfume and the faint scent of cigarettes. I never thought I’d say this but...I’m far from repulsed. It’s almost comforting now. “Well I wasn’t expecting mail but hey if it’s here then yay for mail.” Dawn just rolls her eyes and goes back to reading the morning paper. “Okay. What?”

She takes a second to finish the article she’s reading before folding the paper nearly. God, if I had known Watcher training would turn her in to a mini Giles I would have vetoed that idea six years ago. “Give it up Buff. You’re already expecting the next letter and you haven’t even read this one yet.”

Hrm. Either I really am that transparent or Dawnie mastered the ability to read my mind. I give her a dubious look before smiling sunnily at her. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. I’m just excited I got mail that isn’t a bill or advertisement.” This time I get a snort for my troubles. The brat.

“Uh huh. You go from Mopey Buffy to Smiley Buffy just because Ed McMahon didn’t send you a letter?” Well she’s got me there. I just shake my head and give Giles a ‘help please’ look that he promptly ignores. Fine. I don’t need his help. Though I think I might have to concede defeat this time. That’s not something I do often or ever really but the truth is that they’re right.

“Fine. I’m happy because I got a letter from Faith. You know it’s a perfectly acceptable and normal reaction to be happy to hear from a former arch nemesis turned ally.” And another round of looks. Okay. I should just five it up. I don’t know why I’m fighting it so hard. It’s not like they don’t know I’m in love with Faith. Giles and Dawn remember what I was like the day I realized she was gone.

I was a mess. For a long time I almost convinced myself that I hated her fore bailing out on me again. Until I got my first letter. And like the tard I am I squealed and scampered off to a quiet corner to read it. In the process I pretty much forgot that I was supposed to be pissed at Faith. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I didn’t have a reason to be angry. Faith ditched me as soon as she could and I was devastated. I’d spent the whole night with her, finally allowing myself the comfort that only she could give me. And yes it involved a lot of nudity. I had finally given in to her after four years and she had finally let me in. I didn’t know if she loved me but I knew she needed me. Faith needed me more than she would ever admit to and I didn’t push it. I just...went with it. Trusting in her to still be there when I woke up.

But she wasn’t. Once again I gave my heart away and it bit me in the ass. There was no way I could hide behind my superiority and be all righteous indignation girl. I was too spent form losing so much in the battle and then to lose her...lets just say my descent in to depression wasn’t pretty. But deep down I understood.

Sorta. I got the fact that Faith wasn’t in any shape to give me what I needed. And I knew that if I tried to get her to be there then I’d just be using her for my own selfish reasons. But it hurt. My God id it hurt. I look down at the envelope and trace the lines of my name across it. “I just...miss her.” Like I miss the other half of my soul. But I’ll never admit that. Faith made it clear she wasn’t in to making us work. “I’m just gonna head home now.”

Dawn gives me a hug as I stand up. The one I give her back is a little mechanical but I don’t think she faults me for it. I have to admit, she’s a pretty good sister. Pain in my ass though she is. Giles watches me leave his flat silently and I’m beyond grateful for that. I don’t think I could stand to hear him say that this is Faith’s choice one more time. Logically I know it’s Faith’s choice but the illogical part of my brain keeps screaming ‘How could she not want me?’

But that’s the part that sounds vain and selfish so I usually shove those thoughts away as quickly as I can to the deepest, darkest closet of my mind. Ha! Closet. More like the deepest, darkest cavernous pit. What? I have a lot of repression going on here. Years and years worth. I should probably see someone about that but it’s bad enough that I think I’m nuts, I don’t want anyone else to see it too.

Chapter Two

I want to open this letter so badly. Once again I trace my fingers over my name and smile. I can’t wait to get home so I can curl up on the sofa with my blanket and Beefstick so I can find out how Faith is doing. Find out if she misses me. Ugh. I’m starting to annoy myself. That being said I tuck the letter in to my messenger bag and make my way the few short blocks to my small flat. Beefstick, my cat gives me a plaintive meow when I step inside. “Hey Fatty, did you miss mommy?”

I guess he did miss me since he’s head- butting my ankles and purring. Faith would get a kick out of the fact that I named him Beefstick. I wish I could tell her but I never remember stuff like that in Slayer dreams. They’re few and far between and when I do get to see her we just wind up walking the old Sunnydale cemeteries together.

I don’t waste any time kicking off my shoes and dumping my keys and bag in a pile by the door. God, how is it that one letter from Faith can make me feel like a teenager with a crush all over again. Taking a deep breath I drop on to my couch, pull my pink fuzzy blanket over my legs and open the letter. Beefstick curls up in my lap and head-butts my hand. I stroke his head idly as I read.

“Hey B,

I know it’s been awhile but I got caught up in some stuff with a few of our fangy friends. Don’t worry though, I did what I do and kicked some ass. And the bonus was I looked wicked hot doin’ it.”

I’d say I have to agree. Faith unleashed is a sight to see. The memory of which has gotten me through more than one lonely night. Did I just think that?

“So right about now you’re probably picturin’ me all badass an’ thinkin’ I’m hot. Don’t beat yourself up about it, I kinda like ya thinkin’ sexy thoughts about me.”

See what I mean about her knowing me? I have to smile at it even if it bugs the hell out of me that she knows me so well.

“Anyway, I just thought I’d drop you a line in case ya were wonderin’ how I was or somethin’. I’m still all about the redemption and doin’ the right thing. It’s not as hard as it used to be now that I have a damn good reason. Well a damn better reason than just because it’s the right thing to do.”

I hate that I pushed her down so much that she really thinks she’s a bad person. In my mind I know it wasn’t just me, I know years of living a hard life with crappy family ties had something to do with it. But I can’t help but feel guilty for doing to her what everyone else did. I should have been a better friend. I just should have been better. Period.

“His name is Wes. I think you’d really like him B. He has this smile that’s so open and real it breaks my heart. Weird huh? Me havin’ real emotions and shit. You can stop freakin’ out about it; you’re the only person besides Wes that knows I’m not entirely a cold-hearted bitch. Only, don’t tell anyone ‘kay? I worked a real long time at keepin’ up my image and I don’t want it questioned now.”

Oh. My. God. She’s...happy. She’s happy and it’s not with me. Tears that I didn’t know I had well up in my eyes. I missed my chance with her and she never gave me the chance to tell her how I felt. Goddamnit Faith. I have to stop reading, even if I know I’ll keep reading later. I just can’t do any more right now. I don’t even know why I’m so upset. It’s not like Faith ever said she loved me or even mentioned that she might want to be with me.

It’s always been her usual teasing and flirting. The same thing she does to everyone. Oh. Well yeah. I guess that’s kind of what makes me mad. I’m not just anyone, or at least I don’t want to just be anyone to her. But I really have no right to be angry or hurt. It’s been six years and Faith has always made it clear that she liked sex. Lots of sex. And even though I like to act all nunnish, I’m no saint.

I mean I have needs too you know. It’s just that I always knew it would be a short relationship in the end. And I never once considered that Faith would find someone that she would want to settle down with. If that’s what she wants. I’m only assuming since in six years she’s never once mentioned seeing anyone. I would know, I’ve reread her letters so many times I could recite them by memory. No, that’s not stalkerish at all.

I take a few minutes to compose myself before picking up the letter again. Okay I can do this. I can read about Faith’s boyfriend and be happy for her. And if I say that enough I might one day actually believe it. Maybe.

“It’s weird ya know. Tellin’ ya all this stuff in a letter. I wanted to call but everytime I tried I just couldn’t figure out what to say. Plus it’s me an’ ya know I’m not big with the talkin’ and shit. I wanted to tell you for so long but...you know it is. Anyways. Now ya know. I hope ya know I’m thinkin’ about ya. It’s been a real long time and I’m thinkin’ me and Wes could use a vacation. Maybe we’ll head up your way. I talked to Giles about it, just to get a feel on if I’m welcome or not. I think Squirt might try to light me on fire in my sleep or somethin’. I’m not quite sure why but she’s a Summers woman and hell hath no fury, right?”

I chuckle despite myself. Dawn can be awfully scary when she’s being all protective of me. It reminds me alot of mom. I sigh a little but I don’t let the sadness creep in.

“I hope things are good with you. That you’re happy and stuff. For all the shit you’ve been through you deserve to get what ya want.”

Well that’s shitty for me since I want her and she has Wes. Okay this is me shutting up my internal bitch voice. She’s finally happy. I can tell in the way she talks about him that she loves him. I want that for her.

“Well I guess I should stop wastin’ your time. Maybe we’ll see each other again soon. Maybe I’ll have the balls to call next time.

Faith.”

God, I’d love to hear her voice again. About an hour ago I would have said that I wanted to see her too but now I’m not so sure. I’m not sure that I can see her happy with Wes. I know I know, that’s so not fair of me. She deserves this. She deserves to be happy. I guess I just need to get over it. Over her.

Chapter Three

Okay this isn’t my flat and the vampire snarling at me definitely isn’t Beefstick. I look at the stake in my hand and smile. I’m dreaming. And even in my dreams I know I can take this guy. He snarls at me again and I put my hands on my hips. “Okay if you’re not even going to try I’m just not going to play.” The vamp lunges and I raise my stake at the last second. Poof. “Sucker.”

I hear someone clapping behind me and I know who it is. Oh God. Why now? Why tonight? I turn slowly and offer Faith a faint smile. She’s...beautiful. So damn beautiful. And the hell with this cold attitude business. I can’t look at that smile and not give her a full one back. “Nice work there B.” Please don’t give me the dimples. Please please don’t give me the gah. Dimples. Hello puddle o’ Buffy.

“Well you know the vamps, not the smartest.” And apparently neither am I. Why is it that my wit and charm just flies out of my ass when she gives me the dimples? I play with my stake nervously and peek up at her through my bangs. Okay this is lame. We’re not in high school anymore. “So not that I’m not glad to see you but why are you here?”

Faith tucks her hands in to her back pockets and raises a shoulder in a light shrug. “Felt like you needed a friend.” Are we? Friends that is. I put my stake away and lightly kick at a headstone. Great. I’ve reverted back to the girl I was when I first met Faith. Nice.

“How’d you know?” Faith takes a few steps closer and gets right in my personal space. She always did that. Got right in my bubble and forced me to take notice of her. I flick my eyes up to hers and she’s so close if I just close my eyes and lean forward I could kiss her. But I won’t. I can’t. Not knowing what I know. “How do you always know Faith?”

She gives me that heartbreaker grin and tugs a lock of my hair playfully. “Just ‘cause I’m far away doesn’t mean I can’t still feel ya B.” Our connection. Faith’s expression changes a little when she realizes I can’t feel her the way she feels me. “You can’t feel me can you?” I shake my head and look away. It’s not that I never could feel her it’s just that I’ve spent ten whole years ignoring the feel of her. Be careful what you wish for. Once you get it you might not want it.

“My end must be on the fritz.” Faith knows I’m lying. I can read it in her eyes but she doesn’t push me on it. She just hops up on to the headstone and rests her hands on her thighs. I stare at them because it’s much easier to fixate on her hands instead of her eyes, and her lips, and the way her dimples show when she’s excited, or the swell of her breasts when she breathes or...

“Hey, my eyes are up here Slayer. If ya wanna oogle the goodies ya gotta do it on your own time.” I blush and look up at her face not even realizing that I stopped staring at her hands a long time ago. I give her a mildly annoyed look that clearly doesn’t reach my eyes. I’m happy to see her even if it’s killing me.

“Don’t blame me for looking. You’re the one putting them right in my line of sight by sitting up there.” Lame. So so lame. I take a step closer and rest my hands on her knees. Warm hands cover mine and I close my eyes. I miss this feeling. I miss her so fucking much. “You know I was just telling Beefstick today that I haven’t had a Slayer dream in awhile.”

Her brows come up comically high. “Beefstick?” I clear my throat and grin at her.

“My cat.” Faith tries for a second to not laugh but she can’t help it. Her chuckle turns in to a full out laugh and I’m totally mesmerized. It’s her scent, the way her hair falls in waves around her face, the full lipped grin and her voice. Oh God, the things her voice does to me. Okay enough of that. Bad Buffy. Bad wrong and no Buffy. She’s in a relationship and I will not fuck that up for her because I’m a selfish bitch. I pull my hands away and cross my arms over my chest.

“You named your cat...Beefstick. That’s priceless B. Fuckin’ priceless.” I grin and lean back against the headstone just close enough to touch her if I lean to one side but far enough away so that we’re not constantly in contact. “So what’s on your mind Slayer?” I look up at her and shrug a little before staring up at the full moon. Why is the moon always full in these dreams?

“Got your letter today.” She nods once in understanding but she doesn’t. She couldn’t possibly know what I’m thinking. Not this time. “You sound happy Faith. I’m really glad for you.” Faith tips her head up to look at the sky too. I wish we had been able to talk like this years ago. It might have saved both of us some serious pain.

“If you’re so glad for me why are we here?” Damn her. Damn her for knowing me so well. Again. I chuckle and nudge her with my shoulder. She bumps me back letting me know she’s not taking it personal. She’s really grown in the last six years. I sigh and rub my arms against the chill of the night. Why can’t I dream of warm tropical nights?

“I honestly don’t know why we’re here. I must have fallen asleep on the sofa after reading your letter.” Okay I can feel her looking at me so I don’t want to look at her. Damnit I wasn’t going to do this. I wasn’t going to let her know now that she’s got this guy she obviously loves. Or cares a hell of a lot about. “Why don’t you want me to know where you are?”

Now it’s my turn to gaze up at her while she looks away. It wasn’t the smoothest topic switch but it gets me out of saying something I shouldn’t say. No matter how badly I want to turn to her and bury my face in her neck and just take in her scent and tell her I love her, that I always have, that I can’t get over her because I was wrong. Angel wasn’t soulmate. I couldn’t give him half of what Faith already owned. So I do what I always do and make this all about me. “Well, at first I kinda figured you didn’t wanna hear from me after what I did. And I was kinda scared of what ya might say back to me. Then there was the runnin’ and the real life shit and more an’ more time went on...”

Okay now who’s being lame? I just look at her until she looks back at me. Well we’re a pair aren’t we? I chuckle and nudge her again. “I won’t lie. I was pretty pissed for awhile but...I kinda sorta get it.” Faith gives me a nod and smiles down at me. Look away! Look away before it’s too late! I turn away and rub my arms again. I feel arms around me and I’m wondering how that happened without me noticing her moving.

I lean back in to her arms and look up. Faith looks down at me and gives me a sheepish grin. “Ya looked cold.” A sigh tickles out and I know I must have the biggest most retarded grin on my face. Her face comes closer to mine and oh God if she tries to kiss me I don’t think I have the will power to pull away. Not with the way her body is warming up mine. And not especially with the way her scent seems to curl around me making me feel whole and safe for the first time in six years. “B...ya know I love...”

Yes? You love? Continue please! Wait. I don’t want to know. No no I do. I want to know. Unless I don’t actually want to know. Then I don’t want to hear it. But I have to know. This could kill me. Or you know make me happy again. But what if it’s not what I want to hear? Just tell me and get it over with. No don’t tell me!

“Wes?” Wes? She loves Wes. I open my mouth to say something but the disturbed look on her face shakes me out of my despair. Something isn’t right. Faith’s face pales as she blinks with her head cocked to one side like she’s listening to something. Oh God. He’s there with her while she’s sleeping. “NO!” And just like that she’s gone. I’m confused for about two seconds before a bolts of fear and pain rush through our connection.

My body lunges up as I wake from my dream. “Faith...” She needs me. She needs me now. I put my hand over my chest and close my eyes to concentrate on the feelings I’m getting from Faith. I jump off the sofa and only spare a second and a half to kick my blanket away before I’m grabbing my things and heading for Giles. He’ll know where she is and he’s going to tell me or we’re going to have a talk. With hitting.

Chapter Four

You know it was surprisingly easy to get Faith’s address from Giles. Of course I’m sure he gave it to me more to get me to stop banging on his door loud enough to wake the dead. As soon as he opened the door I pushed him in to the flat and skipped the pouty face and went straight for the stern Buffy face. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t intimidated by but he acted like he was and that helps soothe my ego a little.

And you know, if I had known that her address was in the top drawer of his desk I would have stolen it years ago. I look down at the familiar writing on the envelope as I wait for the jet to be fueled up. Being the original Slayer has its advantages these days. Can I just say that the Watcher’s Council was totally holding out on us. If I had known about the money they had tied up in offshore accounts I would never have worked at a greasy burger joint.

The pilot calls my name and I blink up at him. Right. Time to go. I’m just about to board the plane when my cell phone goes off. I flip it open in mild irritation. Who the hell would be calling me now? I see Dawn’s picture come up on my caller ID. “I can’t talk right now Dawnie I’m on my way to the States.”

She gives me an exasperated sigh and I have to roll my eyes at her. “I know. That’s why I’m calling. I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to worry about the cat, take your time.” I can honestly say I didn’t expect that one. My steps take me in the cabin of the jet and I settle in. Dawn’s voice is quiet on the other end when she finally speaks again. “I know how much Faith means to you Buffy. Don’t let her walk out on you again.”

Oh this one is costing her. I can tell by the way she’s trying really hard not to give me a dramatic sigh. “I don’t think I can do that Dawn. She’s...moved on. There’s someone else in her life and well, lets be honest here. It’s me and Faith. Not the most stable at the best of times.” I can feel the plane rolling forward as we start down the runway. I hate this feeling. Not the plane. Well that too. But the losing her part.

I can almost see Dawn nodding her head. “Look. Just wait and see what happens, and call me everyday.” I know she doesn’t like Faith. I know she’d rather me be alone than with her but she’s trying and it kind of warms my heart. I love my little sister. Sometimes. I clear my throat a little and shift in my seat as we finally take off.

“I know that must be killing you to say so...thanks. For being a good sister.” Dawn chuckles a little and if I close my eyes I can see her shrugging a little. In her Watcherly way. That’s just so weird to me. She’s always going to be Dawnie to me. “You’re not one of Faith’s biggest fans I know but it means a lot to me that you care.”

“Well. She hurt my sister. I tend to take that to heart. And then there’s the part where she won’t stop calling me Squirt.” Ha. I know for a fact that she secretly loves that Faith calls her that. I read it in her diary way back in Sunnydale. Of course if I tell her that then I’ll never hear the end of it about reading the stupid thing anyway.

“My hero.” I say my good-byes and look out the window at the passing terrain. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I get there. I know Faith isn’t dead. I can feel her again. Don’t know how it happened but I’m not going to kick a gift horse when it’s down. Um. Or something like that. God I miss her.

Chapter Five

I wish I had known that I’d have an hour drive from the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport to a little freak ass town called Midlothian. No, seriously. It’s called Midlothian. Now. I know Faith, maybe as well as she knows me and for her to move to a small town just doesn’t seem right. She’d have to have a damn good reason to get away from the city. Or she really doesn’t want to be found. Either way here I am gassing up at a station just on the outskirts of town.

Boy they aren’t kidding when they say everything is bigger in Texas. The woman that rented me the car at the airport had hair bigger than...well something really big. I turn the gas cap in to place and head inside the station to get my credit card back. Oh God. I think I’m in deliverance country. “Well ‘lo there darlin’.”

I eye the greasy looking guy behind the counter and offer up a timid smile. Oh how nice, he’s got shirtless tanlines to match his crusty overalls. “Um. Hi. I came in to get my card. Pump two.” He smiles what I’m pretty sure he thinks is a charming smile, but it falls flat considering the gaps in his teeth big enough to drive a mac truck through. Ew. Spit cup. My eyes go a little wide when he picks up an old 32 ounce Pepsi cup and spits right through one of his gaps. Oh my God.

“Hrm. Buffy Summers. This must be you.” He hands me my card and I resist the urge to wipe my card off on my jeans. My eyes catch on the name tag buttoned to the strap of his overalls. Wade. I knew it had to be something like that. He just looks like a Wade. “So where ya from Miss Buffy Summers?”

“Well California originally. I’m just out here visiting a friend. She lives on...” I take a second to look at the address and smirk. Of course she’d live there. “Lost Road. You wouldn’t by chance know how to get there would you?” I flash him a brilliant smile hoping that he won’t ask too many questions about it. Like who my friend is. Chances are that Faith is pretty well known, she’s kind of hard to miss and this is a fairly small town.

“Lost Road. Well sure I know where that is. Only a few houses up that way, I probably know you’re friend.” Oh boy here it comes. He looks me up and down shrewdly before ejecting another dark strand of spit in to his cup. “You wouldn’t happen ta be a friend of Faith’s now would you?” Is this good or bad? Should I answer or not? I’ll just go with it and hope for the best.

“Actually I am. She’s not expecting me and I was hoping to surprise her.” Here goes nothing. I give my best innocent look and smile sweetly. Wade debates for a second giving me the squinty eye before his face breaks in to a wide gapped smile. I’m going to take this as a good sign. He smacks his hand on the counter lightly and calls over his shoulder at the woman who was working the register before him.

“Ya hear that Loretty? Friend of Faith’s come round lookin’ for her.” There’s a curious but muffled comment that I don’t quite catch from the back room. He turns back to me and grins wider. “You’re gonna jump 287 to Sardis. Once you get there take Sardis to Saralvo. Can’t miss Lost it’s up on the right.” Wade sketches me a quick map and pushes it over to me. “It’s goin’ on work time right about now. She might be up at the titty bar.”

Did...he just say what I think he said? I blink and raise my brows. “Um. The what?” Loretty comes out from the back room and smacks him in the shoulder to move him out of the way. She takes a long drag of her cigarette and I have the good sense to be a little nervous about that. We are in a gas station afterall. I don’t want to have come all this way to go up in a big ball of greasy fire with people named Wade and Loretty.

“The titty bar. It’s where she works. Old strip club down near Waxahachie. If she ain’t home g’wan next door to Charlotte Pinkerton’s place. She’ll tell ya how to get to the place. Now don’t be scared none of that shotgun, damn thing ain’t never loaded she just likes her peace and it’s one hell of a deterent.”

Shotgun? When I find Faith she and I are going to have a serious talk about the town she lives in. And then I will mock her until my teeth fall out. I grin at the two for the help. “Um thanks. Be seeing you.” Wade spits again and winks at me. I hope that doesn’t mean he has a crush on me. As soon as I get to the car I reflect on everything I just learned. Faith works at a strip club? I don’t even want to think of a bunch of guys like Wade getting to see Faith naked. No matter how appealing the thought of her naked is to me.

Chapter Six

After getting lost a few times I finally pull up to the house and park the car. I’m just sitting here trying to get a read of the place. She’s there. I can feel her. The gentle hum of our connection has been getting stronger the closer I get. I get out of the car and walk up to the front door. The screen is hanging off the hinges and the front door looks like it’s been kicked in. This doesn’t look good.

I push the door open and take a few steps inside. I don’t know what I was expecting but this wasn’t it. The place is pretty wrecked. It looks like a band of demons crashed through here. Wait. Maybe they did. Panic starts to fill me and I take another few steps around the living room to the kitchen. She’s not laying here in a puddle of blood so I’m thankful for that. The floorboards creak above me and I move back out to the foot of the stairs.

My breath catches at the sight of her standing at the top, looking down on me. She’s bruised and holding the back of her head like she took a serious hit. “B?” I take the stairs two at a time because even all battered and bloody I need to be near her. Confusion furrows her brow as she looks at the hand that was holding her head. It’s sticky with blood.

“Faith what happened?” She blinks a few times like she’s trying to concentrate before she leans against the wall. I reach out to steady her because it’d be really sucky if she took a header down the stairs right now. Faith looks up at me with a look I’ve only ever seen once. The night I went to Los Angeles and found her in Angel’s arms. She was so...broken. It’s tearing my heart up to see her this way. “Faith?”

“That sonofabitch took him.” She slides down the wall until she’s sitting, her head in her hands. Fat tears roll down her cheeks and I’m really not sure what to do. Who took who? And why the hell did whoever kick the crap out of her to do whatever it is they did. Um. I’m confusing myself more I think. I reach out and brush a lock of her hair away from her face but I get no reaction. She’s shutting down. No no no no. That’s never good. “Stupid redneck fucks. I’m gonna kill ‘em.”

Her eyes go cold and it scares me. I shiver and not in the good way that I usually do when I look at her. Faith flicks her eyes to mine like she’s waiting for something. “So...not a demon gang hell bent on taking you out huh?” She blinks a few times and shakes her head. Well I was right that she needed me because hey bleeding and battered. But I guess it wasn’t the big bad that I thought it would be. “So...who’s the ‘him’ that got taken?” I think it’s Wes. It must be. She wouldn’t be this off if it was just some random person.

“My son.” Oh. Wait. What? My mouth drops open a little and I close it with a click before a fly decides to go exploring. Now it’s my turn to blink. What do I say to that? She has a son she never told me about. It dawns on me that I should have known by the tone of her letters over the course of the past few years. Okay. I can’t breathe. I look away and stare down at the rubble of the downstairs while I just process this.

“You have a son. Wow that’s...wow.” She has a child with someone. Someone she cared enough about to have a child with. Wait a minute. This isn’t the time to be thinking of this. This isn’t the Buffy show, this is about Faith and the bastard that beat her and took her son. I look back at her with my resolve face and grip her hand. “How did this happen? I know you and one guy no matter how Texas Beefy he may be couldn’t do this.”

She flinches and nods in the direction of what must be her room. I help her stand and we walk in to the room. There’s a shovel with red smears on the floor next to a pile of pictures that look like they’ve been stomped on and torn up. Glass shards stick out of the carpet at odd angles. God, that must have hurt to be laying on. “It wasn’t just Jimmy. He brought some friends. They caught me sleepin’ or I’d have kicked the shit out of them.”

This is so my fault. I called her to that Slayer dream. And they took advantage of it. Sure it’s probably coincidence but I still feel responsible. I bend down and pick up a photo of Faith with her arms around the most beautiful little boy I’ve ever seen. I smile at the fact that he has her dimples. Oh yeah he’s going to be a heartbreaker like his momma. “I’m guessing this is Wes.” She nods and takes the picture from me. Tears well up in her eyes but I can tell she’s got one thing on her mind. Revenge.

“If you’re gonna tell me I should go to the cops we might not remain friends B. Jimmy has my son.” She looks at me as if waiting for me to argue. I’m not going to. I’m not a mother but if I was I can imagine that letting the police do what they do wouldn’t be fast enough for me. I shake my head slightly and feel my own eyes get hard and cold.

“Nope. Jimmy...er...whoever is so going down.” Faith is mildly surprised but she nods. And then she sways. “But we’re not going anywhere right this second. You need to clean up some of those cuts first.” She looks like she’s going to argue but I don’t even give her the chance. “You’re not going to do your son any good if you can barely stand.” She closes her mouth and nods and starts toward the bathroom. I follow mostly to make sure she doesn’t keel over. Faith stops at the door and looks down at me.

“Buffy...” There’s not time for this. For the talking part of the visit. Right now a little boy is lost, away from his mom and probably pretty damn scared. That alone makes me want to get this done but the fact that it’s Faith’s son, what they did to her, that I can’t forgive.

“First we get him back, then we’ll do the talking thing. Okay?” She nods and shrugs out of her shirt. My eyes immediately go to her chest. There’s bruises and damn, even a bite mark. These guys were out to hurt her in a very personal way. It makes my blood boil at the thought of anyone laying a hand on her. Faith reaches in to the shower and turns on the water. “Do you need help or should I...erm. Go?” I very pointedly look away from her body because hey now is so not the time for me to be having sexy thoughts about Faith.

“I’m okay. Gettin’ better every minute.” Right. Gotta love that Slayer healing. I nod and back out of the bathroom. I guess I should make myself useful so I start to clean up bedroom. I stop when I reach the pictures on the floor. I pull one that’s half hidden under some others and stare almost open mouthed at it. It’s of the Scoobies at the Bronze. All of us are laughing and smiling and having a good time. God was I really ever that young? In the background a hauntingly familiar face is watching us from the shadows. Wait. Not us. Me.

Faith was watching me when this picture was taken. I don’t even remember when this was taken or by who, I just know that look on her face. Of longing. She needed me then and I didn’t even look her way. I sigh and sit on the floor by her bed going through the pictures. Some of them are of her son, some of other people I don’t know. And then there’s one of me and Dawnie right before the big day.

I don’t know what it means but I so intend to find out. I need to know. I can hear Faith sobbing and it snaps me out of my own little world. I put the pictures down and go in to the bathroom. She’s curled up on the floor of the shower and my heart stops. She looks so small. I turn off the water and kneel next to her. “Shhh. It’s okay Faith. Everything is going to be okay. We’ll make it right together.” I promise. If it’s the last damn thing I do on this earth I will make this right for her.

She leans against me and I wrap my arms around her. For ten years Faith has always been this larger than life figure in my life. She’s always been strong willed and powerful. Graceful and captivating. Seeing her like this is pretty much putting me in to a tail spin. Faith looks up at me with those heart stopping eyes and I feel the earth stop moving. God she just...takes my breath away. I’d give my left arm to have her look at me like this for the rest of my life. I cup her face gently but stop myself from kissing her.

“Come on you. Your son needs you.” She nods and gathers herself up to stand. Faith stands there unashamed and I have to admit that I always admired that about her. I hand her a towel and step back in to the bedroom to give her time to dry off in private. Because staring with open admiration of her body right is so not good. Why can’t I be a normal person who can put the lust away? I’m staring at the wall trying to get myself together when Faith steps out of the bathroom and starts getting dressed. “Do you know where to start looking?”

I hear her snort and turn my head to look over my shoulder at her. “Well Jimmy is a mean sonofabitch but he’s stupid. I’m guessin’ he went to his cousin’s place the next town over. I told him if he ever came near us again...fuck!” The anger is back as evidenced by the nightstand becoming a pile of rubble. This guy sounds like a real winner. I don’t think he expected Faith to get back up from that beating which means he knows jack about her. I clear my throat and raise my brows questioningly.

“Not to be all nosy but how did you end up you know. Pregnant?” Faith shakes her head making her damp dark tresses fall over her shoulders. My mouth goes a little dry at the sight but I keep my focus as she pulls her hair up in to a pony tail. It’s her ass kicking hair do. She sighs and grabs a dark denim jacket from the closet and a knife about as long as her forearm. I stare at it for a second but I’m far from telling her not to bring it.

“Well ya see B, when a guy an’ a girl like each other they sometimes get naked together. And then the guy takes his...” Okay enough of this. I put a hand over her mouth and shake her head. I get it. She slept with him. I knew that part. I give her a mildly annoyed look and pull my hand away. I can’t tell if she’s really annoyed that I’m asking or just trying to get my goat. What does that mean anyway? Get my goat. I don’t even own a goat.

“I get the birds and the bees aspect Faith. I just meant...this guy seems like a real piece of work. I mean. I know you like them rough but...” Okay I should not have said that. The look she gives me has gone from annoyed to angry. When will I learn to just mind my own damn business? I raise my hands in a placating gesture and walk out of the room. Fine. I can take a hint. Faith’s heavy steps behind me reassure me that we’re still on the same page.

As we get in to the car she sighs and leans back against the headrest. I look at her before putting the rental in to gear and heading in the direction she told me to take. I can feel Faith’s eyes on me as we drive but I don’t look over at her. “It was one drunken night okay? Jimmy was lookin’ good, I was feelin’ no pain. It just happened. I saw him a few times after that and it was a good time. I wasn’t interested in anything serious since I figured I’d be gone from this town in about a month. But then I found out I was pregnant and things changed ya know? I never knew my dad an’ I didn’t want Wes not to know his so I stuck around.”

She’s never told me much about her family so I don’t interrupt. When Faith’s in a talking mood it’s best to just let her go with it. “Jimmy wanted more than I was willin’ to give and it started some pretty wicked fights. I wouldn’t take Wes away from him but I wouldn’t see him anymore either. Guess it bruised his ego or whatever. It wasn’t until Wesley’s second birthday that it got real bad. Jimmy showed up drunker than a sailor in a brothel. Started makin’ threats an’ pushin’ my friends around. I kicked his ass out but it’s been a struggle ever since. Every other month he comes around here sayin’ how he’s sober an’ he wants to do right and all other kinds of bullshit. It all came to a head around the time I sent out that letter. It’s why I was thinkin’ me and the kid need a vacation.”

I can see that this Jimmy is going to meet the business end of my stake if I ever see him raise a hand Faith again. I know in the back of my mind I should be horrified at the thought of taking a human life but I’m so past the self-righteous phase. This man did something unthinkable. He hurt Faith and he’s stolen her son. I shake my head and frown. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this Faith? I would have been there for you.” I finally do look at her and she looks away.

“After all we been through ya gotta ask that B?” Well. Yeah. Because after all we’ve been through I still don’t understand why we can’t be friends. Why it’s always such a damn struggle to communicate. “If I had told ya that I got knocked up an’ I was stickin’ around so my kid could have a dad would you have wanted to be around? Or would ya have shut me out and gone on with your life.” My hands grip the steering wheel hard enough for my knuckles to go white.

“I’m not the one that walked out of anyone’s life remember?” Okay. I’m still hurt over that. I know it. Faith knows it. But now isn’t the time. I let out a calming breath and shake my head. “Look Faith...we need to talk. There’s just so damn much that’s happened, so many feelings of hurt and anger and...” Love. I shake my head take the next turn when Faith points to it. I don’t know how to verbalize everything I feel right now.

“Talkin’. The one thing we’re not so good at.” She gives me a mild smile and I have to look away because I can feel my skin heat up in a blush at her next statement. “We’re much better with the non verbal communication if I remember right.” Yes we are. We so are. I clear my throat and shift in my seat a little. Faith chuckles and I give her annoyed Buffy face. Which isn’t really annoyed as it’s kind of bordering on amused at the moment.

“Laugh it up chuckles, because after we get your son back you and I are going to be having that talk.” She gets quiet and stares out the window. I can see her reflection and I can’t read the expression in her eyes.

“I owe ya that much B.”

Chapter Seven

“So this is the place huh?” It looks like the house from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I groan inwardly at the large confederate flag hanging from the porch railing. Now when Faith called them rednecks I kind of figured but this is pretty extreme. A sound like a shot goes off and we hear some hooting and hollering. My gaze goes to Faith’s tense form. “Was that what I think it was?”

“Snake hunting.” How could she get involved with people like this? Granted Faith has her moments when I’m not too sure about her but this is extreme. I look back at the sagging porch of the house and the guy with no shirt on chugging beer in the porch swing. Faith’s teeth grind together loud enough for me to hear. That must be him. “That’s Jimmy.”

I take a closer look at him and notice the nice muscle definition and broad shoulders. He has a shock of midnight black hair and lots of tattoos. I frown at the fact that even from here, even knowing what he is, he’s still kind of attractive. I can see why Faith would want to sleep with him. Not that I’m happy about it. “Well, he’s kinda cute. In a bassackward southern way.”

Faith snorts and pulls a cigarette out of the pack in her jacket pocket. She lights it and leans back in her seat. I’m not used to her being all plan of actiony. Usually she’s the first one to leap in to the fray. I have to say...the control is kind of a turn on. She looks over at me and raises a questioning brow. “This gonna bug you?” Well that’s a first. She’s never cared about anything bugging me. I grin a little and shake my head.

“Truthfully...it never bugged me. I just used to like giving you a hard time.” She smirks like she already knew that and she probably did. I bring my gaze up to Jimmy and sit watching him go through beer after beer. We could just walk in and take Wes back and none of them could stop us. But I think Faith has a plan. I hope she has a plan. “So the waiting game is because why again?”

Her pink tongue slides over her bottom lip and I track it with my eyes. “They’re gonna run outta beer soon. It’ll take them about twenty minutes to get out to the Liquor Barn and back.” Liquor Barn? Where the hell are we exactly? I have to hold back the case of the giggles that I feel coming on. This isn’t funny. Okay. Focus Buffy. Focus. Man I so can not wait to tell Dawn all of this. “Now who’s yukkin’ it up?”

I bite my lip and give Faith an apologetic look. “Sorry. I just have a hard time imagining you hanging out with them. Or even just living here.” She shrugs a little and flicks some ash out of the open window. Another shot goes off and she takes her eyes off me to stare at the house. Something flashes by the window of an upstairs room and she goes tense in her seat. “Faith?”

She keeps watching until it happens again. “Wes.” Her hand goes for the handle of the door but I reach out and stop her. Her original plan was better though I’m not opposed to rushing the house. Faith looks at my hand on her arm and I can see the struggle in her face. She wants to shrug me off so badly. I give her a squeeze and let go. Choice is hers. Ha. Now that’s rich of me. Not two days ago I was thinking how pissed off I was that certain choices were hers. Now look at me. Faith sighs heavily and sits back still staring at the window for any sign of her son.

I should do something to take her mind off this for a minute. And short of flashing her I’m not sure what will get her attention. And then a light goes off and I look at Faith as if I’m the most innocent, naive girl in the world. “Faith? What’s a titty bar?” She’s mid inhale when I ask and immediately starts coughing. I almost feel bad about it. Almost. Her brown eyes go incredibly wide as she stares at me in shock. “The guy at the gas station said you worked at a titty bar.”

Ha I got her. She’s squirming around trying to figure out how to respond to that. “Um. It’s a strip club. That’s just what they call them in Texas.” I make my lips form in to a tiny ‘o’ and nod. Is she blushing? Because if she is this totally makes up for her laughing about Beefstick. The cat not the guy. Faith narrows her eyes at me and I keep up the innocent look but she’s not fooled. “Why ya askin’ B? You plannin’ on gettin’ a lap dance before ya leave?”

“Me? Lap dance? Um no I think I’ll take a pass on that.” Unless of course you’re offering. Faith smirks and turns away and I’m left with the feeling that she somehow won this round. And I just can’t have that. Getting a smirk of my own I keep my eyes firmly on the wiry figure of Jimmy heading back in to the house. “Unless of course you’re offering, F.” Faith’s head whips around so fast I’m surprised she didn’t give herself whiplash.

That should give her something to think about. She raises her brows and gets an impressed look on her face. “Guess I’m not the only Slayer who’s changed a lot.” I finally glance at her and for a second both of our walls are down. It’s just me and Faith and none of the bullshit that usually comes up between us.

“No, you’re not. I grew up some too.” She gives a faint nod as she processes the honestly of my statement. My eyes flick back to the house when I hear a truck start up. Jimmy’s leaning on the porch railing shouting something about a bottle of Ten High. Cheap whisky. Well that figures. Two other men wave him off as they pull out of the driveway and head up the street. “Let me guess, cousins Joe Bob and Cleetus?” Faith smirks and I have to try hard not to fall in love with her all over again.

“Close. Johnny Jr. and Wyatt.” I shake my head and without thinking tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. It must have fallen out of her ponytail. Faith’s eyes go to my hand and then to my face. We’re stuck for a second just looking at each other before she takes a deep breath. “Just Jimmy in there now. We should uh go.”

Yes we should. I nod and get out of the car as if nothing has happened. But on the inside I’m practically leaping out of my skin. Of course now that we have a mission to get on with I’m keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of Jimmy. Or snakes. Just because they were hunting them doesn’t mean they actually shot any. There could just be some really pissed off snakes waiting in the ankle high scrub grass to bite the next passerby. I hear something in the grass and jump about two feet right in to Faith.

Her arms go around me instinctively and she looks around. “Sorry. I thought I hear a snake.” She rolls her eyes at me and mutters something that sounds like ‘freakdoodle’ but that can’t be. Freakdoodle is not in Faith’s lexicon. It has no curse words attached to it. I bite my grin and follow her up to the house. She stops at the door and pulls me to the side just as Jimmy slams the screen open. He gives her a startled look and drops the six pack he had hanging from his hand.

Faith doesn’t even have to speak and he’s practically pissing himself. Not that I wouldn’t be if I were getting the look of pure cold death she’s got trained on him. Jimmy scrambles back from us and trips over a rickety old chair landing him flat on his ass. “Where’s my son?” The low rasp of her voice sends a tickle down my spine. Her words are slow and deliberate and I’d say she’s never been more dangerous than she is right now. Jimmy blinks at opens his mouth but nothing comes out but a dry wheeze.

“You told me he was stupid you didn’t say he was mute.” Faith doesn’t take her eyes off of him but he tears his gaze away from her to look at me. I smile brightly and wave. “Hi. You must be Redneck Sonofabitch. I’m Buffy.” Recognition clears his eyes and it’s quickly replaced by hate. Now that I wasn’t expecting at all. Okay maybe a little since he’s on the ground and I’m just picking on him.

“You. How dare you bring your whore to see my son. You fuckin’ damn...” And I don’t even get to hear what he was going to say because Faith’s punch practically knocks his teeth down his throat. “Mah mouth, fuggin’ bish. I’ll kell you fer that.” I’m pretty sure I understood that. I blink at Faith and raise my brows. Her whore? This is new. Faith’s hands tangle in his hair as she hauls him up only to hit him again. And again. And once more for good measure. Boy this is the easiest rescue mission ever.

“What’d I tell you huh? I told you that if you ever, ever touched my son I would kill you. You stupid. Fucking. Son. Of. A. Bitch.” Each word of that last sentence was punctuated by a hard punch. I grab Faith’s wrist to stop her from hitting him again. She pulls back from me like she’s going to take a swing at me but I nod in the direction of the living room. Wesley is just standing there all tearstained and dirty holding on to a toy truck and watching his mother beat the shit out of his father. That’s not good. She stops and pulls the screen door nearly off it’s hinges.

“Mommy.” His little lip trembles as he takes a flying leap right in to Faith’s arms. Okay. That was seriously the sound of my heartbreaking yet again. Faith scoops him up in her arms and holds on to him tight. Her shoulders shake with the effort of not sobbing. "I was scared, you weren’t moving and then I tried to fight but daddy pushed me away from you.” My eyes make a slow pan down to the man on the floor trying to crawl away down the stairs.

Fury like I have never felt before bubbles up in my chest and I grab him by the throat. My knees pin his shoulders to the ground and I squeeze just a little. Blood burbles up around the corners of his ruined mouth. “You hit your own son?” God, I could kill him right here, right now. All it would take is another little squeeze and just hold on until he stops wiggling. My grip tightens and I’m looking him dead in the eye. “If you ever so much as dream about hurting either of them again, I swear my face will be the last thing you ever see.”

I squeeze again just to watch his face go from white to red before I let him go. Faith’s warm hand lands on my shoulder and I turn to look at her. “Let’s go B, he’s done.” No he’s not done. Guys like him always have something to prove. I give him another evil glare before walking down the porch after Faith. I can see Wes peeking out at me over her shoulder and I give him a little smile. He hides his face in her neck and holds on tighter. I don’t blame the kid, I’d like to hide there too.

Chapter Eight

Once the adrenaline starts wearing off I can feel myself getting sleepy. It was a long flight and a long drive. As we pull in to Faith’s driveway my cell phone goes off. I open it quickly so it doesn’t wake Wes. Poor little guy cried himself to sleep the whole way over. I sit in the car as Faith gets out and starts unbuckling Wes from the back seat. “Hello?”

“Buffy?” It’s Dawn. I smile faintly and open my door. “Thank God. I was starting to get really worried when you didn’t call. Is everything okay? Is Faith okay?” Huh. Now I know she was worried. I don’t think that Dawn would be asking about Faith if I had called her the way I said I would.

“She’s fine Dawnie. A little bruised and tired but she’s coping.” Faith looks up at that. I can’t help the warm smile I get on my face at seeing her hold her son’s small body against hers. I zone out for a second and then shake my head to clear my thoughts. “I’m okay too. How’s Beefstick?” A chuckle from across the car makes me shoot Faith mock death glare. Okay I know I’m short and that doesn’t make me the most intimidating person but she could at least try to appear afraid of me.

“Fine. I fed him and he couldn’t have cared less about me.” Well that’s about right. The damn cat doesn’t like anyone but me. But who could blame him? This is me we’re talking about. “So. Have you met the mystery man?” I knew she had an ulterior motive for calling me. I follow Faith up the front walk and in to the house.

“Yes I have. And let me tell you he’s a looker.” There’s silence on the other end of the phone. I think Dawn may just have swallowed her tongue. I chuckle softly and settle in to the couch as Faith takes Wes upstairs to his room. “I can’t blame her for loving him, he’s got a smile on him that would make even the most bitter of spinsters fall all over him.”

“Okay I want to know what drugs you’ve been taking.” I laugh at her shocked tone and rub my forehead tiredly. I need to figure out where I’m going to stay tonight because I’m going to crash and soon. “This is the guy that Faith is supposed to be in love with right?” I don’t answer right away because I’m not sure how she’s going to take the news but a hint of panic creeps in to her voice. “Buffy?”

“He’s her son.” I hear something that sounds suspiciously like the phone dropping. I hope that’s not my brand new cordless phone being dashed to bits on the hard floor. “Dawn?” There’s a scuffling sound and then a few heavy breaths. You know if I was just now clueing in on the conversation that would sound really wrong. Ewww. No. Dawn is a virgin and will remain so until I die. After that she’s on her own.

“Her son...she has a son?” Yep she sure does. I nod even though she can’t see it and grin.

“Weird huh?” Dawn sputters for a second and I get the feeling she’s putting two and two together. Her voice is a heck of a lot calmer when she finally decides to say something other than ‘buh’.

“Well I can honestly say I didn’t see that one coming. So have you told her you're madly in love with her and would do anything to have her back yet?” Um. No. I sigh heavily and she makes a tutting sound. Oh my God she’s channeling Giles now. All she needs are a pair of glasses to take off and clean. “Are you going to tell her or are you just going to come back with your tail between your legs.”

“I don’t know. It’s still complicated Dawn.” A tingle down my spine lets me know that Faith is behind me so I turn and smile up at her. “You want to say hi to Faith?” Dawn immediately gets quiet and I can see Faith eye the phone like flames might shoot out of it if she gets too close. “She’s right here if you want to.” Oh I’m so going to get it from Dawn when I get home. It doesn’t stop the grin from forming on my face as I watch Faith squirm uncomfortably.

“Heya Squirt.” Dawn catches it through the line and gives an irritated sigh. Yeah right. I know better and deep down she does too.

“Tell her hi. I have to go...read something. Call me later.” I chuckle and hang up the phone. Faith settles on to the couch next to me and clasps her hands between her knees. We’re silent for long seconds and I don’t think either of us has a clue what to do next.

“Dawn says hi.” She nods. I nod back. Okay this is getting no where and far too quickly. I grunt as I stand up and attempt to smooth out some of the wrinkles in my clothes. Ugh. I need a shower. Faith stands quickly when I do and looks around the mess of the living room. She sighs and shakes her head. They won’t be back tonight that’s for sure so I’m not terribly worried about her safety but she does look like she’d rather not be alone. The question is will she ask me to stay.

“You got a place to crash B?” I shake my head no and cross my arms over my chest.

“Not really. I landed and headed straight here. I thought you were in trouble so...” She nods at me and tucks her hands in to the pockets of her jeans. Yeah we totally suck at this friend thing. I sigh and shake my head. And there go my plans to try and talk this out. “I should...” I gesture vaguely in the direction of my car but Faith takes a step closer to me. I don’t back up I just tip my head back a little to look at her.

“You don’t hafta go B. It’s not like I don’t have the room an’ after everything you’ve done for me I’d like to thank you somehow.” Okay that’s a start. I give her a tentative nod. It’s not like she owes me. She could have done all that on her own. And would have. “Besides I kinda want to get to know the new threat makin’ Buffy. She’s kinda hot when she’s passin’ judgement on someone other than me.” Technically I should get all pissy about that dig about being judgmental but I don’t.

“Well. He hit his son and he hurt someone I care about. Threats kind of come naturally at that point.” Those eyes bore in to me and I swear she can see the thoughts forming in my head. I can’t hide from her, I never could and she knows it. I just hope we both come to a decision on what to do soon.

“So you care about me huh?” I should have known that would make her have a cocky smirk. I roll my eyes at her and let my arms drop to my sides.

“Well if I had known where you lived I might have told you that oh say six years ago.” She gives me a sheepish grin and I just can’t take it anymore. I hook a finger in to the waist of her jeans and tug her the few inches to me. Faith’s hands come out of her pockets and she wraps her strong arms around me. I hug her tightly and let the stress of the day slide right off my shoulders. I could stand like this with her all damn day.

“I was scared Buffy.” Uh oh. She used my name this is serious business. “I fucked up when I left you there but I just couldn’t stay an’ I didn’t know how to tell ya.” Yeah yeah we covered this already. I don’t need her explanations. I need her. Just her. I press a finger to her lips and shake my head. God, I had forgotten how soft her lips are.

“Now isn’t the time for that talk.” She nods and I smile gently at her. No now isn’t the time for any kind of talk. I lean in and brush my lips over hers in a slow gentle caress. I don’t think either of us are up for any real non-verbal communication tonight but the kissing is good. The kissing I can do. Faith smiles against my lips and cups my face in both hands. She doesn’t realize the things she does to me with those small gestures. We sigh in to the next kiss and pull back slowly.

“C’mon lets get some sleep. We can talk in the morning.” I’m good with that idea. If I’m lucky when I wake up Faith will be right there by my side. She takes my hand and leads me up the stairs to her room. Neither of us bother getting undressed, we just collapse in to the bed and snuggle in to each other in a way that makes me wonder what took us so long to realize how easy this could be between us. “Night B.” Night love.

Chapter Nine

Ugh. Light. Light in my eye. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and roll over to snuggle deeper in to the source of the comfy. It takes me all of two point five seconds to realize that the comfy is actually Faith. I take a deep breath just taking in her scent and smile against the shoulder I’m nuzzled up against. She stayed. I have to swallow a few times or I might just give a huge sob of relief. Slowly I open my eyes and tip my head back to look at her.

I wasn’t expecting her to be awake and the sight of her staring at me takes me by surprise. “Yeep!” I levitate about three inches off the bed before a warm arm pulls me impossibly close to her. “Sorry. I didn’t expect you to be awake.” Faith chuckles low in her throat but closes her eyes. I lay here for what seems like forever just staring at her. There’s a tired half grin on her lips and I so want to kiss it. And hey why shouldn’t I? That being said I lean in to her a little more nibble that full bottom lip of hers. It gets me a groan and I get to be the smirky one for a change.

“Ya sure you just didn’t expect me to be here when you woke up?” Faith opens one eye but there isn’t any defensiveness in the look. She’s just asking an honest question and hoping for an honest answer. I’m not sure I know how to answer that really. Was I afraid she wouldn’t be here? Kind of I guess. But this is her house so she wouldn’t go far, especially with her kid in the room across the hall.

“Well, I was fairly certain you’d be here in the house at least.” Faith takes my statement for what it is and nods. Okay time for the awkward. I was really hoping that wouldn’t settle in until after I had some coffee. I sigh and start to free myself from Faith’s grip but she pulls me in back in so that there’s nothing between us they clothes we’re wearing. I can feel her body heat rise and okay I’m so not able to control my own body’s responses to her. My breathing picks up, catching her scent and putting me in to a hazy stupor. So much for always wanting to be in control.

“You tryin’ to bail already?” Nope. Uh uh. Not me. I’m good with the hereness. It’s where I’ve wanted to be for so long that now that I am here I’m just kind of unsure about what to do with it all. I shake my head because I don’t exactly trust myself to speak right now. What if I say something retarded? Don’t laugh, it happens a lot. Faith always had that effect on me. I’d think I was so cool and she’d do or say something that would knock me on my ass and everything that came out of my mouth after that was just babble. “Good, ‘cause I’m likin’ you right where you are.”

Okay. I grin happily at that and do the one thing I wish I could have done so many times. I nuzzle right in to her neck and let go of everything else. Faith’s hands tangle in my hair as she scratches the back of my neck lightly and oh my God now I know why cats purr. My eyes close and I know if she keeps that up I’ll be knocked the hell out in about five minutes. Which is not good because even though I could pass out in her arms and not ever wake up, there’s stuff to do. “Keep that up Slayer and I’m so never leaving.”

It was meant as a joke. Really. But she stops what she’s doing and I tense up. I hadn’t meant to scare her off and I’m just about to open my mouth to say something when she starts up again. “I can live with that.” Wait. I’m not dreaming am I? Please tell me this isn’t one of those horrible dreams where I finally get my way and then I wake up. Slowly I extract my face from her neck and look up at her. Her gaze is unflinching but I can see worry in her eyes. Nervousness too. Good so I’m not the only one.

“Faith I...” But I never get to say it. Or anything because the bedroom door comes flying open and a round little ball of Wes lands right on top of us, pushing us apart. Well. Okay then. The look on Faith’s face is priceless. She’s got this disgruntled look that she can’t quite keep up because Wesley’s clinging to her like a limpet. I watch as she just melts in to a big mushy puddle and gives his ribs a tickle. Ha. Big badass. Yeah right. When I tell Dawn, Faith will NEVER live this down.

“Hey boyo. I want ya to meet someone. This is my friend Buffy.” Wesley turns to look up at me and I’m once again hit with this feeling I can’t describe. He looks so much like Faith. The shape of his lips, those warm chocolate eyes and oh boy the dimples. He smiles at me and I now get the whole line of her letter about it breaking her heart to see him smile. Wow. “B, this is Wesley Alexander.” I smile right back at him and take the hand he’s holding out and shake it.

“Heya Wes.” He may be young but this kid has an old soul. I can see it in his eyes and the way he’s reacting to the fact that he just jumped in to bed with his mom and her...uh. Friend. That he’s never met. And only after getting kidnapped by his own father. Any normal kid would be clinging like mad and probably scared to death but not him. He’s just all calm and fearless. Like his mom.

“I know you. Mamma has pictures of you. You’re a Slayer too.” I nod once and prop my head up on my hand so we’re on the same eye level.

“That’s right. We’ve been friends for a long time so I thought I’d come for a visit.” It’s the easiest way to explain why I’m here and why he didn’t know I was coming. But he does know I’m a Slayer so Faith must have told him about me. About what we are. His little brow furrows as he takes it in and I have to resist the urge to stroke the wrinkle away.

“You helped my mamma when she was hurt.” He’s working through things pretty quickly. He’s a smart kid. I nod again but wait as he works through the rest of the days events. When he looks up at me his eyes are clear and warm and the smile on his face just kills me. Sorry Faith I think you just lost out to your son. I’m already head over heels for this little boy and I just met him. I didn’t even know about him until yesterday. “How’d ya know she was hurt?”

Good question. “Well...” I look over at Faith who isn’t saying anything she’s just watching the interaction with a half smile on her face. Well she’s no help. Her brow comes up almost daring me to say something. Well fine then. “You see me and your mom know each other so well that sometimes we can tell when something is wrong with the other one. I care a lot about her so I came here as quick as I could.”

He nods to himself and leans back against Faith. “You owe me breakfast mamma.” What? I blink and look at the deep red flush crawling up Faith’s face. “I told ya she loved you back.” What?? I blink at Wes who jumps off the bed and flashes a perfect smirk at Faith. Oh my God. I am in so much trouble with these two. I can tell already. “Better hurry ‘cause my belly is a’growlin’.” God he even sounds like her.

I look back to Faith who chuckles nervously and shrugs. “Heh. Uh. We kinda have a long standin’ bet. I owe him his favorite breakfast if he’s right an’ he owes me six hugs and two kisses if I’m right. Which. I wasn’t.” The cuteness of this is going to kill me. I can hear Wes ambling down the stairs humming to himself so I close the distance between me and Faith.

“So I’m guessing you tell him everything huh?” She nods a little.

“Mostly. I figured out pretty quickly that just ‘cause he’s four doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand a lot of stuff. And for a little kid he’s a real good listener.” She’s not looking at me. I’m right here Faith, just look at me. Please. And like she can hear me she looks up at me timidly. I have been waiting for this for so long.

“He’s right you know.” Her eyes go a little wider in disbelief. “I do love you. And I’m not even going to try and deny the fact that there’s a lot of stuff we have to work through but I’ve loved you for a long time Faith. Longer than you know. Longer even than I was willing to admit before.” Okay I’m laying my cards out on the table here. “I just don’t know where I stand with you. And I really need to stop talking so I’m just going to shush.”

There is so much...shit we have to work through but I’m willing to try if she is. Okay I’m starting to panic here. Why did I say all that? Clearly she’s having second thoughts about me now that I’ve just spilled my guts. “Buffy, I’ve only ever been in love with one person my whole life. But there’s so much shit that I don’t know if...I’m worth the trouble.”

No she didn’t just say that. Now I’m just mad. I cup her face so she’s forced to look at me and I give her my best resolve face. “Hey. If I didn’t think you were worth my time I wouldn’t be here practically begging you to let me in. I mean I got hit on by a hillbilly with a spit cup just to find you.” So don’t do this to me. Please. Don’t shut me out before we even get started. “Do you or do you not love me Faith? Because I really need to know and I think after six years I deserve an answer.”

Faith swallows convulsively but doesn’t pull away from me. “You know it’s always been you B.” And even with everything that’s happened, all the denial and the anger and pain I do know. I did know. “MAMMA! HUNGRY NOW!” She rolls her eyes and gives me an apologetic look. Well he’s a growing boy and since my stomach just rumbled loud enough to be heard across the ocean I’m going to go with it.

Chapter Ten

I’m sitting in the newly restored living room watching Faith laying on the floor with Wes and coloring in a coloring book. I shit you not. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. Faith looks up at me and grins and I can’t help it. I totally fall in love with her a little more. There’s so much to her that I never knew about. So much inside of her I never gave her the chance to show me. I shake myself from the depressing thoughts and sip my coffee. We haven’t gotten back to our little talk yet but I’m okay with that for now.

We had to eat and then clean up the living. And I seriously needed a shower. Faith wasn’t complaining or anything but travel grit and sweat don’t make for a very appealing bedmate. And I’m so looking forward to being in Faith’s bed again. The thoughts in my head must register on my face because Faith gives me a knowing grin before dropping a kiss on Wes’ head and moving to sit on the couch with me. “Wha’cha thinkin’ about Slayer?”

Oh boy I am so busted. I give her an innocent look and sip my coffee. “I’m just thinking about telling Dawn what a big softy you are.” That gets a snort and a mildly panicked look. It doesn’t matter what she lets me see here so long as I don’t tell anyone. I actually feel kind of honored by that. It means she’s letting me in. “Of course it could cause her head to explode seeing as how she thinks you’re all attitude and leather.”

“That’s me.” Faith grins widely and leans back in a very sexy stretch. Have I mentioned how she makes my mouth go dry? I put my cup down on the coffee table and immediately curl up against Faith. She sighs happily wraps an arm around me. This is going really well. We could be happy. Just as long as we don’t get on each other’s nerves. Which. It’s us. Grown or not we each have this strong desire to always be right.

“Yeah ‘cause I can see that what with the snuggling and the cuddling and all.” I chance a glance up at her and snicker at the look of horror on her face. She had no clue she was being all snuggly until I told her. My snicker turns in to a full on laugh that I have to choke down before she decides to run for the hills. Faith gives me a reproving look and grumbles a little. I don’t think even in my wildest dreams I would have imagined Faith being like this with me. Sure I’ll admit that knowing she works in a strip joint is something that while I’m not exactly happy about I could plausibly see from her.

“Hey, what’s with the stress wrinkle?” Faith’s fingers glide over my brow and smooth away the furrow there. Crap. I’m busted and I don’t know if she wants to talk about this with Wes sitting right there. I shrug and look away. She’s not playing my game and it’s clear in the way she leans in closer to whisper in my ear. “Ya can’t ask me not to shut you out if you try an’ do the same to me B.” Holy shit. I swear she can read my thoughts. I never said that out loud this morning.

“I was just uh thinking about where you work and how it’s hard for me to put that together with what I’m seeing from you here. You’re a stumper sometimes.” Faith tenses up and pulls away a little. Great. I fucked up already. I’m trying to figure out how to fix it before it gets out of control.

“Don’t look down your nose at it B. It’s work an’ when ya got a kid you’ll do anything to do right by them. Anything.” I snap my jaw closed because I could feel it drop. I swear I didn’t mean anything like that but given how I’ve treated her in the past I can see why she would think that. “And for the record, I’m the bartender not a dancer. But even if I was it doesn’t qualify me as trash. Okay?”

Gah. She’s on a roll now and I don’t know how to stop her. “Whoa whoa whoa. That’s not what I was saying at all Faith. I was just saying that it’s weird for me to see you so open and content knowing your usual front. And believe me if anyone knows how cold and hard your shell is it’s me. This is new okay? You might have gotten used to being different but you never gave me the chance to know this side of you so you can’t just expect me not to boggle at it a little.”

I give a grumpy huff and cross my arms over my chest in my usual defensive gesture. If I look over I know I’ll see the hard line of Faith’s jaw clenching in an effort not to say something one or both of us will hate hearing. Okay so now how do we get ourselves out of this mess? “I’m not tryin’ ta bite your head off here B but look at what you’re sayin’. You expect me ta be trash an’ your surprised that I’m not. My first instinct is ta tell ya to fu...”

“Mom!” Faith stops what she’s saying and glances over at Wes who points at a jar on top of the television. It's filled with dollar bills and coins. She sighs and pulls out a dollar from her pocket and gets up to shove it in to the jar. Even though I’m annoyed I have to grin at it. Faith just got punked by her four year old son for a word she didn’t even say fully. She flops back on to the sofa and grimaces. She was totally going to tell me to fuck off. And now she can’t. I give Wes a wink when she’s not looking and uncross my arms.

Maybe she has a point though. “Look...Faith, I don’t expect you to be trash. I just am a little surprised at the stuff I didn’t know about you. And okay I’ll admit it, I’m glad you’re not a dancer. Not because I think it’s trashy but um...” This is the part where I fidget and glance away. “I don’t like the idea of anyone else looking at you that way.” I never wanted to be the jealous kind of girl but I’ve come to realize that I am. When it comes to Faith I’m really really jealous. What? I have eyes. And so does everyone else. She’s hot.

She’s silent for a long minute and I’m so not looking at her. “So ya don’t like anyone else lookin’ at what’s yours huh?” The cocky tone almost covers for the fact that she said she was mine. But I caught it and I won’t make a big deal about it. I’ll just grin happily over it. Speaking of belong to someone. “So are you ever going to tell me why your ex honey called me your um...” Nope. I am not putting one red cent in to that jar. “Something not very nice?”

As soon as she opens her mouth a small angry voice pipes up from the floor. “Because he’s an asshole.” I blink and have to bite my lip really hard not to laugh. This kid is too damn much. Faith gives Wes a warning look and he throws his crayon down in exasperation. “Well it’s the truth.” It’s more a mutter than an actual statement but he puts a couple of quarters in the jar and gives Faith a glare. “I don’t wanna ever see him again and you can’t make me.”

I have seen that stubborn look many times and each time I wanted to throttle Faith. It’s going to be really funny to watch her have to deal with a miniature of herself. I sit back and look to her and then back to Wes like I’m watching a ping pong match. “You can just slow your roll right there Turbo. He might be a jerk but he’s still your Dad. I’m not ever gonna let him hurt ya or take ya away from me again but you’re not gonna be callin’ him names. You got me?”

All we need now is a tumble weed to roll across the living room floor to make this stand off complete. “Fine. But ya can’t make me love him.” Faith relents a little and shakes her head. I have the feeling she’s trying to do the right thing and agree with him at the same time. It doesn’t have to be so difficult since I’m with Wes on this. He doesn’t deserve to know his son. Period end of sentence.

“C’mere boyo.” Wes debates giving in but moves closer and crawls up on to her lap. Faith runs her hands through his wavy black locks and sighs. “I’m not gonna make excuses for your Dad. What he’s done is wrong and you have every right ta be pissed off at him. I just want ya to know you got all the love ya need right there. ‘Kay?” This child has done so much in Faith’s life. I don’t even think she realizes the woman she’s become.

“He’s a liar. He never plays with me an’ he always yells an’ calls ya names.” He calls Faith names? Well I guess that was a given considering what he called me. But the anger inside of me stirs anyway. “An’ he hit you an’ other stuff...” Wes’ tone trails off and he looks down away from both of us. Other stuff? There’s other stuff? I can feel the vein on the side of my head throbbing now and I knew I should have killed that son of a bitch when I had the chance. I bring my eyes to Faith’s but she’s not looking at me. Do I want to know what that ‘other stuff’ is?

“I know boyo. I know. You don’t hafta love him. Or even like him. I just don’t wanna hear ya talk bad about him. Okay? You let me deal with him. You just go on bein’ my favorite guy okay?” Wesley nods and leans in to her body for a tight hug. Tears start to well up in my eyes so I get up to leave them be for a bit. I’m in the kitchen washing my mug when Faith comes in and leans back against the counter next to me. I hope to God that what I’m thinking isn’t what actually happened because if he forced her to...the mug shatters in my hand.

“Shit!” I start picking up the pieces out of the sink and toss them in to the trash. Faith takes my hand and runs it under the water, I didn’t even realize I was bleeding. I pull away from her and stare, waiting for an answer. None comes so I push it. “Tell me it’s not what I think it is Faith.” She shrugs a shoulder lightly like it’s no big deal but I’m already seeing red.

“I told ya. I’d do anything to do right by my kid. If I have ta take a slap down or distract him from Wes then I will.” Are you fucking kidding me? Never ever in my life would I have thought to hear that from Faith. Ever. She’s a Slayer for crying out loud. She kills demons and vampires like nothing but she’ll sleep with a guy she hates? Let him slap her around so he doesn’t cause trouble?

“I’m going to kill him.” Now it makes sense. The bite marks, the very intentional bruises. The way he hated me before he even knew me. The way he nearly crapped his pants when he saw her. He was teaching her a lesson. Motherfucker. Faith steps back from me and shakes her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Why didn’t she tell me all of this from the start? I would have been here. Faith gives me a haunted look before putting up every wall she has. That bastard.

“Gonna go run home now that ya know?” What?

“What? No! I’m going to drive over there and kick his ass all over Texas. He can’t just do that to you and think it’s okay. I should have squeezed his head right off his neck yesterday.” Okay I need to tone it down because my voice is getting louder and louder and I don’t want Wes to think I’m yelling at Faith. How dare that asshole put his hands on Faith. I’m shaking with a rage I haven’t ever felt before and I’m just barely holding it together. “You’re a Slayer Faith, you don’t have to take shit from anyone, least of all some motherfucking, woman abusing, alcoholic prick.”

She looks up at me in mild surprise at my language. I’ve never actually used that word out loud before but it just came out. “If looks could kill B...” Yeah if looks could kill I’d go stare Jimmy down and it’d be a really bloody death. I let out a deep breath to get rid of some of the pressure of what I’m feeling. Faith looks scared of me and I don’t want that. I never want her to look at me like she should be worried.

“He never touches you again.” It’s not a request and it’s not a discussion. Faith nods starts to cross her arms over her chest. I don’t let her I just pull her close and run the pad of my thumb over her lips. “You don’t deserve this life Faith. And I’m sorry I always made you feel like you weren’t good enough for more. I’m so fucking sorry I never got the chance to make everything right. We might not be here now if I hadn’t blamed you for everything under the sun. If I hadn’t scared you in to hiding from me.”

“Buffy, don’t do that okay? Don’t put it all on your shoulders like I didn’t fuck up. I did a lot of shit I didn’t hafta do because I was all butt hurt you didn’t love me. And even if ya did tell me, even if we tried, we wouldn’t have worked then. We were kids. Stupid bullheaded brats.” She shakes her head and I can tell she’s pushing everything else away in an effort not to deal with it. I swallow hard because I want to cry for everything I missed in her life, everything I couldn’t protect her from.

Two days ago I wanted to cry because of everything she never let me have with her. Now I’m standing here in her kitchen crying because of everything she was protecting me from. God I’m such a self centered asshole. “It didn’t have to be this way.” She knows it didn’t. Maybe we would have messed it up before but maybe not.

“Well if it wasn’t I wouldn’t have Wes so I’m kinda glad it did go this way.” She’d take everything she has and then some for him. I get it sorta but it still cuts deep that she had to do things she didn’t want to. Had to endure humiliation and degradation like that. Faith’s trying to pull away but I won’t let her. I just hold on tighter and force her to look at me.

“I want this to work Faith. I want us to get through this together so...no more hiding. Right?” I’m still going to kill that bastard. But I need to set this right before it gets worse. She nods slowly and relaxes in to my arms. Why is it that our first fight and little hurdle had to be so mountainous? “Good because I...” Just say it. Get it all out. “I need you.” Wow. That felt good to say.

“Yeah?” I give her a sweet smile and watch a matching one beak out across her face. Oh yeah. I need her. I need her bad. My heart flutters the moment our lips meet. I take the time to enjoy the feel of her lips and the warm breath across my cheeks. Her tongue slides over my lower lip and I oh so willingly let her in. God she tastes good. I can feel the counter dig in to my lower back as I’m pressed up against it. Our tongues struggle for dominance with each kiss and it’s quickly turning in to something more.

Faith’s hands rest on my hips before easily lifting me on to the counter. I wrap my legs around her waist and pull her in as close as she can get. Okay is she the one breathing that heavy or is it me? I pull back enough to catch my breath and tangle my hands in her wavy locks. “Okay for the record, all those late night fantasies totally fall short.”

Faith chuckles and her voice has that deep raspy tone to it that never fails to get me wet. “Been thinkin’ dirty thoughts about me alot B?” I give her a blank look as if she must be retarded.

“Only for the last ten years or so. Don’t get a big head over it.” Okay even I can’t say that without cracking up. Logically I know we’re going to frustrate the hell out of each other and probably want to walk away sometimes, but this could be so good. I know it because it feels right. And I’m tired of pretending that it’s not, that she’s not the one I wanted right from the start. The kitchen door swings open and we stop mid kiss.

“Wha’cha doin’?” Okay. I’m so putting bells on that kid. I flush deep red and chuckle. Faith pulls back from the kiss and looks down at Wes’ curious face. I wonder how she’s going to handle this.

“Stuff.” He gives her an annoyed grimace and shakes his head.

“Well you can’t do stuff with company an’ Pinkie is in the living room and she said ‘tell that mamma of yours if she don’t get her tail out here this second I’ma load up my shot gun and fill her butt full of buckshot.’ An’ I tried ta tell her you were makin’ kissy noises in the kitchen but she said she didn’t care.” Oh My God. Can I die now?

Chapter Eleven

I’m sitting on the sofa with Wes happily settled in my lap. I swear he just took to me, I didn’t have to bribe him with anything. We’re watching some animated Disney movie but really I’m listening to Faith explaining to her neighbor about the last couple of days. Wes snuggles back further in to my chest and I grin. This kid just stole my heart. “Buffy?”

I blink and look down at him with a slight smile. “Yeah Wes?” He gets a really serious look on his face as he looks at Faith and then me.

“Are you gonna leave my mom and me in a coupla days?” You know I hadn’t even really thought about that. I mean I want this to work. I need it to work really. But outside of that I hadn’t made any real considerations about what comes next. This boy really doesn’t hold any punches.

“Well I don’t know what’s going to happen yet Wes. I love your mom very much and she loves me but we’ve spent a lot of time hurting each other and it’s going to take awhile to get over that. In the meantime I have a job and family and friends back home that I need to get back to. Plus Beefstick would get pretty sad if I didn’t come home.”

His face gets a confused look to it and he frowns. “You have a boyfriend named Beefstick? I thought mamma was just kidding about that.” The laugh bubbles up before I have a chance to hold it in. How could anyone not love this little boy?

“Beefstick is just what I named my cat. But a long time ago I had a boyfriend named Riley that your mom thought it was funny to nickname Beefstick.” He nods like he understands but I think that might just be a little out of his grasp of understanding. Which is fine by me considering the connotations of the name Beefstick. I am a little surprised that he hasn’t questioned the fact that we’re both girls but maybe Faith has already explained stuff like that to him.

“Buffy?” I raise my brows and wait for the next inquisitive question. “If you go back, can we come with ya?” Yes. In a fucking heartbeat. Because now that I’m getting to know him, and now that I’m getting to know Faith I don’t think I could let either of them go. I open my mouth to say something but Faith and Pinkie come back in to the house. She’s looking at me with a ‘what’d I miss’ look but I just shrug.

“You’ll have to ask your mom that later bubba.” Wes nods and gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek before leaping off my lap and running up to Pinkie. She’s a formidable looking older woman with a steel gray beehive hairdo and yes she’s actually wearing a lime green housecoat. She eyes me in a way that makes me feel like she’s looking for any flaws and she’s willing to make up a few if she doesn’t find any. I smile at her and stand.

“B, this is Charlotte Pinkerton. She lives just next door. Pinkie this is my friend Buffy. She came up from London to visit.” Pinkie gives me another appraising look before grunting mildly and giving me a nod. Okay I think that means I passed inspection.

“Nice to meet you.” She gives me another look and raises her finely tweezed eyebrows.

“Well she don’t sound like a Brit. Guess that makes her alright by me.” Um thanks? I think. I look at Faith who’s just standing there holding her chuckles in. Pinkie takes one look at her and whacks her hard in the ass with her cane. “You laughin’ at me little girl? I may be old but I’m meaner than a snake on a hot tin roof and I’ll beat the tar out of you.” Faith puts on an apologetic face immediately and rubs her ass. Man, I’d love to be the one to take over that job but I think Pinkie might give me a whack with her cane if I tried.

“No ma’am. I’m just happy is all.” Nice cover Faith. Wes looks up at his mom and giggles madly. She looks down at him and quick as a flash she’s got him in her arms and up in to the air before he can let a squeal out. “Makin’ fun of me boyo? I’ll teach ya...” All I can hear are giggles and squeals and I’m perfectly okay just smiling at them. I’m lost in my thoughts until Pinkie clears her throat near my shoulder and I snap out of my reverie.

I try for a smile but this lady makes me nervous. “She’s a pain in the ass you know. Her and that kid. Always runnin’ around and rough housin’.” I look back at Faith and Wes who are full on rolling around on the floor having a tickle fight. Another smile tugs at my lips at the sight. I want this. The whole thing. Her and Wes, a house, tickle fights, make out sessions in the kitchen, everything. Even the crazy old lady neighbors with shotguns.

“Yeah but can you think of two more beautiful pains to have?” I haven’t pulled my eyes away from Faith and Wes in awhile so when I do I’m mildly surprised to see Pinkie not glaring at me. She just nods in a motherly kind of way as if confirming something to herself.

“Okay okay enough of that crap. C’mon kiddo I just made some dump cake. You can stay over tonight if you help water the plants.” Wes struggles out of Faith’s grip and runs out the door without a backward glance. I guess he likes hanging out with Pinkie. She gives Faith an exasperated look as she stumps out of the house. “I better not see one peep outta either of you until tomorrow.”

I look over at Faith and blink. I think...she just told us to go have sex already. Faith tries really hard not to laugh but she can’t hold it in any more than I can. She stands and locks the door the house before stalking toward me in the most predatory of ways. I shiver and wait until she’s just out of reach before bolting for the stairs. Faith is hot on my heels as I bust in to her room. Her arms wrap around me from behind and I’m hurtling toward the bed from the force of her body hitting mine.

We land in a heap, giggling at the retardedness of acting like little kids even though we’re supposed to be grown women. I stop laughing sigh happily. Faith leans in and nips my collarbone lightly. The rush of lust that I had to put on hold comes back the second I feel her mouth on me. I groan softly and arch my back. Faith stops and looks down at me with a serious look on her face. Did...I do something wrong? I mean I know it’s been awhile since I’ve had sex with anyone let alone a woman but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do something wrong. Unless I did.

“I don’t think I can let ya go B. If we do this...I can lose ya again.” Oh. I raise my hand and stroke along her jaw with feather light touches. Well I waited six years to hear that.

“Are you asking me to stay with you Faith?” She flicks her eyes to my lips and then back up to give me the most honest look I’ve ever seen on her face. She’s scared. Hell I’m scared. This is a big thing for us. But she wants it as badly as I do. Not the sex. Well. Not JUST the sex. I want the sex pretty badly and now that I’ve been with Faith and I know how good it is I really am having a hard time not pushing this faster than it’s going.

“No.” I...have no words. I’m fucking crushed. “I’m beggin’ ya to stay ‘cause I need ya B.” All the wind gets sucked out of my lungs and I almost want to cry. She needs me. She needs me and she’s telling me she needs me. I lean up and kiss her with all the emotion in my body.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” Faith’s expressive eyes devour me and I’m loving it. “I’ve been in love with you forever Faith. No matter how much I told myself I wasn’t, or how much I pretended I didn’t want to know what it felt like to be with you...deep down I knew.”

She nods like she knows exactly what I’m talking about. “Always felt like runnin’ because it was the best way to forget that bein’ with you feels like bein’ home.” Exactly. We kiss again a little more insistantly. My hips rock up to meet hers and I moan at the contact. Fuck that feels good. I can feel our connection buzz stronger with the contact. I’ll have to ask Giles why that is another time. Er. Or maybe Dawn. I don’t think Giles would really want to know that the fact that Faith is pushing my shirt up and off and that’s what’s making our connection go bananas.

And I’m disturbed that I’m thinking about that as I’m struggling to push Faith’s jeans down her hips. This is quite possibly the most difficult time I’ve had getting undressed in a situation like that. It could be because I can’t stop touching and kissing Faith long enough to get her clothes off. Faith pulls back from me and yanks her tank top off over her head. I’m struck dumb at the sight of how beautiful she is.

Her hands land on the waist of my already unbuttoned jeans and I raise up a little so she can pull them down. She’s kneeling in front of my open legs with her hands resting lightly on my bent knees. I can already feel the slick heat between my legs grow alarmingly just at the looks she’s giving me. The looking is nice but the touching would be better. “Buffy...” Okay I’m totally going to come if she calls my name out with that voice again. I shudder and spread my legs wider in invitation.

“I need you Faith.” That’s all it takes for her to finally snap out of it and settle her body on mine. I sigh at the feel of her skin on mine. God she’s so fucking soft. You’d never guess that from looking at her but she is. I hook a leg around her waist and rock up at the same moment that she grinds down in to me. Faith lets out a deep moan that makes my breath catch in my throat. The feeling of her hot wet sex pressed against mine is enough to make me forget how to breathe.

I want more of it. More of all of her. Faith moves away for half a second to slip her hand between our bodies. Her long fingers spread thick folds of sensitive flesh before she grinds down again. Oh God. “Oh fuck.” I bite down on my lip feeling the skin part and a fresh well of blood rise to the surface. Faith looks down at me, stilling my hips with her hands before leaning in to kiss me gently. I sigh in to her as she sucks my lip, swiping her tongue over the cut.

I should be mildly grossed out by that but I’m so not. If anything I’m more turned on than I was before. Faith sets up a slow gentle pace for us and I’m glad she’s taking control because this would be over way too soon if I was the one in command. Every thrust of her hips against mine causes a small moan or groan of sigh of pleasure. I can feel Faith getting impossibly wet with each stroke against me. I hiss when I feel her clit throb against mine. Oh God. Oh God Oh God. I buck up hard as my world snaps out of focus.

Faith lets out a whimper when she feels me come. She thrusts against me in short hard strokes before groaning deep in her throat. “Buffy...” And I’m lost again. I knew I’d come if I heard her call my name like that. It takes us a few minutes of panting to catch our breaths.

“I’m so never leaving...” Faith chuckles and tries to roll off me. I let her get only so far before I shift and roll so I’m half using her for a pillow. She looks down at me with that cocky smile I love so much. “And don’t think that this is done. I’ve been waiting for you for six years. You’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”

“I’m okay with that.” You’d better be.

The End